Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
