At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
