in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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