You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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