Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
