happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
