Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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