got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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