If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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