My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
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