i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
