You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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