Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
