shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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