am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
