I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
