we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
