whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
