he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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