yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
