I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
