He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
