fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
