PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
