i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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