You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I am available for nakedness
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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