420 ftw
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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