Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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