happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
