I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
