i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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