You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I stole a fireplace last night.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
