Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Randomize
