ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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