its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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