spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
