I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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