she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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