I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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