Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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