You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
