can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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