I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I have demons in me.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
