So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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