I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
