I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
