they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
