Non-Jews are for practice
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
