My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
