Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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