found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
