It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i think my tv is drunk
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
